I have "battled my weight" for years.
Tack on 6 pregnancies and closet eating and you can pretty much say weight is a problem for me.
Or is it? I have always considered myself a big girl and have always been told I have a pretty face. It may have just been my mom and grandma, just sayin!! I have loved AND loathed dressing myself to fit the body and shape I have, because it obviously was not going anywhere! I settled for the fact that I was the biggest of my friends.....but don't get it twisted.....I have NEVER missed out on prom, boyfriends, love, attention, friends, jobs, the lake, parties, hookups at the bonfire, children, compliments OR criticism. This is not a sad story of a lonely fat girl. This is a story of a self-diagnosed fat girl, and to me, that makes all the difference in the world. The fact that I accepted myself for WHAT I WAS and perfected what I had. Not model material for sure, not a fashionista, but very rarely lacked confidence for what I wore. I know there are things that people don't want to see when someone is plus sized and I respect that! I CHOSE to refrain from certain items of clothing in public, because I personally didn't feel like it was ATTRACTIVE. I settled in at size 18 after my two children were born. My husband loves me, I loved me, I thought.
One day in 2012, my belly was bigger than my 38DD bra, and it hurt. A womanly figure, chest/waist/hips in proportion, no matter the number has proven to be incredibly sexy....and I relied on that proportion. My diet or lack there of, threw off my numbers...and for the first time in my life,I FELT and looked FAT.
I typically don't mope and complain and I don't prescribe other women to do it either. I get UP and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Fast forward to March 2014, I am an Independent Beachbody Coach, a sexy, strong, confident, plus sized woman, in proportion, in a size 14.
Let me share something else with you. Big girls stick together. A big fine woman who likes to back dat @ss up will convince you ANY day, that a man prefers MEAT over a BONE! We promote a positive self image no matter your size and encourage you to Eff Your Beauty Standards (@TessMunster) ......until you betray the big girl creed?
I have bought plus sized clothes since I was in the 6th grade. I've earned that badge.
Just recently I asked my local plus-sized-clothes-for-sale-Facebook-group if size 14 was still plus sized. I posted bc I couldn't find any used clothing listings for size 14. I was quickly told that I needed to find a typical sized page to advertise my used sized 14s and that if I posted there, it would be deleted and I would be banned. Do you understand why?
I didn't, until.....I was told that size 14 was no longer plus size. What? Yes it is! No, size 14 is in the cusp of typical and plus-size, only size 14Womens (14W) is sold at the plus-sized specialty stores. Therefore, YOU OUT!
Harsh. Considering I'm STILL A BIG GIRL!
Not accepted as typical sized and not accepted in the plus size world.
The sexy body image that I waved flag for, is only accepted if you fall into a category! So if a big girl decides to lose weight, do you now call her a conformist to the typical world? If I gain weight and get back in with the plus-sized, arent I still conforming?
I have to say that I am guilty of wondering why a big girl would lose weight and betray other big girls in the world. I think women of all sizes are beautiful, but I have a special place in my heart for those who don't care what society thinks is beautiful and those that wave that flag proudly!
Take aforementioned Tess Munster, isn't she beautiful?
Do you still think she's beautiful?
Shes proud of her body, she is comfortable, and she is confident, and in all senses of the word, shes SEXY.
Now, my dear Elly Mayday, I always hoped that one day I could look like her, realistically, you know, because that body I've been carrying around didn't seem to be going anywhere. But maybe I could at least sport it the way she does, so confidently!
I saw her in a photo once, looking like she had lost a few pounds, and my first thought was "WHY?"
"Why would she do that? She has a great career as a plus-sized model, and shes my body role model, and I'm not having any luck losing weight, WHY would she do that???"
Until I saw this.
My gorgeous Elly had been secretly battling ovarian cancer and taking chemo treatments, until she couldn't hide it anymore. I felt horrible for judging her about conforming to the typical-sized world. HORRIBLE. I wanted to cry when she posted this picture on Facebook. She took that opportunity, though, to show us how beautiful we could be at any size or health.
Elly is in remission and in better health, still getting to know her new body and new outlook on what could have been a very short life. I challenge us all to stop judging and stop conforming and stop judging about conforming to one standard or another. Beauty. Its in the eye of the beholder.
I'm in a size 14. I haven't turned coat on my big girls and not trying to blend in with the skinny girls. I just want to be the BEST VERSION OF ME. If I feel its a happy size 10, then so it is. Size 10 would be a huge accomplishment for someone who has NEVER worn a typical size 0 thru 12. However, in modern day, size 10 would STILL BE PLUS SIZE! I understand the categories and department segregation just for the sheer ease of shopping, but to be belittled and talked to in a certain way because I no longer fit in category one OR two, it just broke my heart.
All my love,
