I recently paid my way into a weight loss challenge at work. Ninety days, do what cha gotta do to lose weight. Not inches, not gain muscle, not smaller pants, not body fat percentage. WEIGHT.
I lost 17.2 pounds in 90 days and won $200.00 (TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS) !!!!!
I have been in this business of losing WEIGHT since 1978. I'd like to say I have EXPERIENCE in losing weight, but I dont. I have experience in the BUSINESS of losing weight. Lmfao. (not really, hahaha, my fucking ass is still here, following me everywhere I go)
I'd like to tell you how I lost the weight this time, but I can't really pinpoint exactly which change allowed me to freely spend my hard-earned $200.00.
The first change was a positive diagnosis to an autoimmune disease that I always knew I was suffering from, it just took a caring physician to trust ME enough to run the appropriate tests.
Diagnosis #1) without great explanation, a gastrointestinal infection that is hard to treat with antibiotics because of its stubborn resistance. The inflammation caused disgusting symptoms and a duodenal ulcer in my small intestine. Can lead to stomach cancer.
Diagnosis #2 ) Remember "Mono" in middle school? The "Kissing Disease"? Yeah. Thats the one. Can lead to Hodgkins Lymphoma, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Multiple Sclerosis. Awesome.
Diagnosis #3) Hashis Thyroiditis - come to find out, Diagnoses #1 & #2 lead to the autoimmune disease Hashimoto's, which is now destroying my thyroid, sending me into another illness and fogging up my eyesight and MY mind! ;) Can lead to thyroid cancer. Awesomer!!!
So back to the food. And the weight. Yay.
Most everything I have found on the world wide web has led me back to a gluten-free Paleo diet. Poop. Well, sorta.
So change number two, I cut carbs, gluten, sugar, and any other foods in a box or a bag found in the center aisles of the grocery store. First week, I lost 9 pounds.
WHAT. THIS SHIT WORKS???
I also incorporated butter. Yes. I said butter. Real, grass -fed butter. Preferably from Ireland. :) WELL, Winn-Dixie.
If you need an explanation, watch the video.
Cutting carbs and gluten meant bacon, chicken, sausage, cheese and ranch dressing. Among others, but those are things I never ate when eating "clean" .
I cheated more than I should but I did notice that GLUTEN made me feel HORRIBLE. Sugar gave me the worst stomach cramps and butter gave me energy and kept me fuller longer WHEN MIXED IN MY COFFEE. Don't hate.
So getting several diagnoses, attempting to regulate my thyroid function, cutting carbs and gluten, and adding butter, gave me, on average, a 1.43 lb LOSS PER WEEK.
I did get a negative response from my gyno nurse, but she's a skinny bitch and I don't care about anything she says about my ability to maintain a certain "lifestyle". Boo. Hater. :)
With all this being said, several small changes in my life proved to me that I was on to something.
On your mark, get set, yeah right.... I mean, I'm starting again really soon.
