Denise Wayne Fit: To New Friends

Update:

My lesson for this past weekend was that women who empower each other, support each other and laugh with each other, are true friends.

And… women who 5K together, are friends forever!

I had an unforgettable Saturday with a group of girls who I will always consider my friends.

Team Bombshell’s day started on a 7:30am trek to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to make a 9:30am registration time and 10:30am start time.

5k Foam Fest in Baton Rouge, claim to “get filthy clean” in the mud and the foam obstacle course. As far as 5k promotions go, it was over the top played up.

When we arrived at the site, we realized there wasn’t much “foam” or “fest”. I remember calling it “lame” from the start, though I was super excited to do it!

We had a 10:30am registration time, and right at 10:30am, off we went through the cloud of foam at the starting line. I don’t think we saw any more foam for the next hour. Our 5k turned out to be a hike in the Louisiana rainforest up and down muddy hills and trails, over the river, and through the woods. Luckily, the fest promoters had rebarb* stakes and caution tape marking off the trail for us, and at times, we found ourselves using that tape to keep ourselves upright…it was that or the barbed wire that lined the {what appeared to be} cattle farm.

The incredible rainstorms and flash flooding we had had the days before, caused for a lot of mud and a lot of WATER… our 3 hour hike was alongside a river and its now-swollen banks, I think what was intended to be mud, was now an all-out-river-running-through-it, current and all, 8 feet deep at one point.

Our group of 6 strong bombshells teamed up to climb muddy banks, slip down muddy embankments into over flowing river water, around turns and corners, not knowing what to find. Our 5k was definitely not a run. It was challenging just to stay on your feet! We slipped in water, in mud, in gross smelling darker mud, we ran through weeds and grass, through decaying leaves and sand dunes. We climbed over innertubes afloat a swollen river, we were serenaded by Cousin Vinny, who challenged us to have a SAFE Saturday and to be CHAMPIONS of the rope house obstacle. As a team, we skipped a lame rope obstacle, that had you climbing sideways a foot off the ground. We walked through shotgun shells, and near dead carcasses. We tip-toed and scooted our feet along soggy river bottoms and fell into deep holes, soaking us to the bone. We worshipped the sunshine as it shone through the trees and waited in line to walk on water at the Lilypad Obstacle. We were made fun of for being #TeamBombshell, we were photographed and photobombed as #TeamBombshell, we were reminded of what a #HotMess we were, and how #SuperFit we are NOT.

Leaving the rainforest and the first 2 miles of our trek, the open fields escorted us to 4 more foam obstacles, a 30 food Death Drop, a Body Wash reminisce of a car wash, a foam cube of fighting lemons and our finale, ¼ of a mile away, we ran our asses off to a slip and slide, to the Finish Line. At the finish line, we received a medal, by a man sitting in a folding chair, a 100 calorie granola bar, a bottle of water, a too-small tee shirt, and one can of black cherry Mike’s Hard Lemonade. There was no music, no celebration…but to sit our butts down in that warm grass, surrounded by forever friends, was freaking PRICELESS.

WE LOVED IT!

We basked ourselves in the sunlight, enjoyed our one free “cold one”, and carried on to rinse off the remaining mud and gunk, to the car to dry off and remove shoes, and then off to change at my sister’s nearby house in Denham Springs, Louisiana.

My Saturday ended more than 12 hours after it started with the following Facebook post from my driveway.

Denise Wayne

March 29

Finally home. 5k foam mud river rat dirty panty kinda day. I cant drive another minute. If you need me, ill be floating in my tub. Xoxo
Amber Sterner Krystle King Womack Jaycee Lasso Eliza Galle Amanda Snowden
#teambombshell
#sangtomecousinvinny
#justcuzyousuperfitdontmeanitainthard

I wanted to write this to document the day, as not a Bombshell brought a phone or a camera (water, foam, mud) and the promised photographers who would capture our day, WERE NOT IN THE WOODS OR RIVER, didn’t seem to show up, or didn’t post a single one of us in action. I am keeping my fingers crossed that because it's only Monday, the photos have not all been uploaded yet.